One of the Best Pieces of Advice for Instructional Leadership in Uncertain Times
The decisions we make now often matter more in the long term
A couple of summers ago, I was chatting with Brenda Power, then editor of Choice Literacy. We were discussing the stress that comes with leadership and having to make tough decisions at times. She shared some advice that I still carry with me today:
“I would rather deal with awkwardness than resentment.”
Thinking about the incredible choices that school and district leaders are now making with schools re-opening soon, I thought it timely to share this wisdom and to expand on what it means.
Awkwardness vs. Resentment
Dealing with awkwardness means having an honest conversation with someone now instead of putting it off and waiting until (we think) things get more comfortable. It may also mean making harder yet better decisions and then dealing with the smaller ramifications vs. managing bigger problems down the road because we wanted to avoid the immediate stress.
For example, many of us are feeling pressure from some families, community members, even staff to re-open our schools fully and disregard the guidelines from medical professionals and organizations. Even when explaining how our decisions are driven by evidence currently presented to us, we still experience unpleasant dialogue. Yet this awkwardness is minor when compared to the resentment others might have toward us if we simply choose to avoid these pressures, or worse if someone ends up becoming ill because we chose the easier yet less advisable path at the start.
I wish I had this skill when I first started in administration. I remember one of my first years as a junior high assistant principal: A parent whose phone number I knew by heart was spotted marching into the front doors of the school. Instead of trying to manage the situation by talking about the child’s challenges as partners instead of adversaries, I temporarily sequestered myself in one of our counselor’s office to avoid the verbal tirade. As you might guess, the situation only became worse.
Three Ps to Broaden Our Perspective
Although I have more to learn, one thing I know is social imagination is necessary when dealing with these difficult decisions. We can visualize what life would be like for the foreseeable future regarding how a decision might impact our culture and our ability to ensure all kids are successful. It helps us broaden our perspective and understand the true consequences.
One strategy that has helped me manage this awkwardness is utilizing coaching skills, especially after sharing information that may disappoint others. For example, if a person questions a hiring decision made, we can respond with the “three Ps”:
Paraphrase (restate, summarize) what that person is saying, i.e. “You have concerns about the teacher we recently hired.”
Pause to allow time for everyone to process what was said (such as after they speak and after your respond)
Pose questions to clarify the ideas presented so far, i.e. “So you are not concerned about the teacher hired, but more wondering about our hiring process?”
When we present the information as we hear it, when we allow time for everyone to think, and when we clarify through questioning, opinions and concerns shared take on a more objective hue. They are seen as what was said and heard instead of was felt or perceived. (For more information on these coaching strategies, see Cognitive Coaching: Developing Self-Directed Leaders and Learners by A. Costa and R. Garmston)
These three coaching strategies, along with reminders to myself to be aware of my own thoughts and feelings during a challenging situation, have helped me stay calm while conveying to the other person that I am listening with intent to understand. We don’t have to seek agreement but we can always strive for clarity.
The Snowball as a Metaphor
Awkwardness and resentment were present before the pandemic. I remember my former mentor, a retired principal, talk about this same idea in the context of hiring faculty. “Remember,” he advised over morning coffee, “when you hire someone today, assume that you are hiring them for the next thirty years.” The context might be different now, yet much has stayed the same.
Regardless of the situation, we can think of major decisions as a snowball sitting along a hill. It’s there; that’s our reality. So we have two choices:
We can pick it up now, toss it around a bit with others to understand the situation, and then make a difficult yet necessary decision.
We can leave it there. Eventually someone will kick it down the side of the hill. We can ignore the issue for only so long as it rolls, getting bigger and worse…
For the latter, this is the common pathway that leads to cultural demise, such as your best faculty members leaving your school. Nothing drives teachers away like a lack of leadership.
I wish this situation was better for everyone. We are put in an almost-impossible situation. Dealing with awkwardness instead of resentment doesn’t fix the issues. What it does is to help frame our choices more appropriately. While they may have consequences now, they are always about the future. Will my tomorrow self, my next year’s staff, or my students ten years from now be happy with the decision today? Our desire for contentment matters less than our need for safe schools and student equity.
Thank you for your readership and leadership. Next week, I’ll be posting the first of four professional learning sessions on how to create your ideal curriculum. They will be available for subscribers only.
Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash