Structuring Our Days for Purpose and Focus
Article
Several days into our state’s safer-at-home orders, I was noticing that our kids were on screens a lot. A lot. Time spent watching YouTube and playing video games seemed like it was growing exponentially.
So I suggested, and the majority of the family agreed, to collectively develop a schedule for our daily lives. On weekdays when school was in session, from 9-11 A.M. and 1-3 P.M. we would be focused on remote learning tasks. My wife is a special education teacher so we all had work. Some activities for our kids don’t require a computer, such as independent reading. They have time from 8-9 A.M. and 12-1 P.M. for recreational screens and general free time. The evenings are for dinner, watching a show together, and general leisure.
At first, there was resistance from one of our children. “I hate schedules. They’re too limiting. I need freedom.” Mm-hmm, freedom to veg out on YouTube. But we have continued to adhere to the schedule. It’s not perfect…only a start.
Resisting Limits
Where does this resistance to limits come from? The problem might originate from a person’s belief that constraints means opportunities are limited. It creates a feeling of scarcity, that we have a shortage of options in our lives and we’ll miss out on something.
I’ve found that nothing could be further from the truth. Structures and limits have helped me take control of my daily work. I can relax more because I am worrying less about all of the decisions I no longer have to make. It’s been decided already.
To be fair, I have agreed to my personal limits. I had total say in the process of developing my structure. So, there has to be a personal commitment to these limits that is supported with an understanding of why we want to create constraints for ourselves in the first place.
Finding Focus
My purpose: I know that I can fall into the trap of Twitter feeds and serial checking email, staying there for way too long. This awareness is the first step to developing my purpose. So for these days at home of unfettered access to the Internet, I’ve created the following limits (commitments) regarding my social media and email usage:
15 minutes a day of Twitter.
45 minutes of email, dispersed into three log-ins of 15 minutes each in the morning, early afternoon, and before evening.
The rest of my days are focused on working from home, such as hosting staff meetings via Zoom, and taking care of ourselves. The application of these digital limits are adapted from Cal Newport’s latest book, Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World. Although Newport is a computer scientist, he has never had a social media account, so his perspective is somewhat limited. For example, he proclaims:
“The vast majority of regular social media users can receive the vast majority of the value of these services provide their life in as little as twenty to forty minutes of use per week” (202).
I’m more generous with my usage, but not by much. With good reason: Newport notes that social media developers model how people access their feeds based on slot machines. You pull down the list of posts, a wheel spins, and you wait to see what comes up next…it can be addicting.
The Outcomes of Constraints
What I’m finding by imposing limits for the digital attention grabbers in my life is a freedom for everything else. There’s more time for being with my family, reading, writing, spending time outdoors, and simply not doing anything. If I’m tempted to check anything online, I remember this structure and then think what else is available.
I am also discovering new time for learning. For example, how can I become more handy? Home projects have always been a source of anxiety and stress for me. Not that I’m incapable; I think it has something to do with my tendencies toward perfection competing with the messiness inherent with fixing or making stuff. (Related, computers and technologies in general are cleaner. I can update a webpage without worry, unlike building a picnic table and cutting a board too short.)
Now with more time and less expectations, maybe I can start small, find some success in simple projects and work my way up toward more complex tasks.
It was 11:00 A.M. “Time to close our computers, guys,” I announced. One responded and one resisted, per the usual. “I’m almost done!” cried the resistor. “Hey, do want to go outside and play Minecraft IRL?” offered the more compliant sibling. They shut down their Chromebooks and headed out the backdoor.
Minecraft IRL = In Real Life. They pretend the backyard is a Minecraft world and enroll the cats in their play. Okay, so it’s not practicing the piano or raking the leftover spring leaves. It’s also not a screen, so we count it as a win.
Also, the evenings are still a struggle at times. We don’t always agree on something we might want to watch or do together. But we’re trying. Our self-imposed limits are not just for learning, teaching, and leading; we are structuring our days so we can focus on our priorities in life.
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