What Our Children Need to Put Their Best Foot Forward: Some Ideas to Address Social Isolation, Missed Curriculum, and a Pattern of Negative Interactions #engaginglitminds
Running a school where the students all succeed, even if some students have to help others to make the grade, is good preparation for democracy.
- William Glasser
While reading Engaging Literate Minds: Developing Children’s Social, Emotional, and Intellectual Lives, K-3, I have been struck by the discourse and scenarios shared. They inspire me to imagine classrooms everywhere that reflect the themes of respect and trust that are conveyed in this book.
Chapter 12, “Helping Children Put Their Best Foot Forward”, tugged at my heartstrings for personal reasons. I have a child with Autistic Spectrum Disorder as well as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Anxiety Disorder. He is on the high-functioning end of autism and was originally diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when he was in fourth grade, while it was still considered a category in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders manual (DSM).
In early childhood, my son was a high energy, fun-loving, bright, quirky little guy that often brought on smiles from others. He loved talking to everybody, especially adults and had no sense of “stranger danger”.
As my son entered pre-kindergarten, he loved everything about school. He enjoyed engaging with his classmates and got a thrill out of sharing his knowledge about his current interests with the adults around him. As the grades increased, and the academic and behavioral demands became greater, my sweet, smiley boy became withdrawn. He grew to not like school and even began to not like himself.
Like the children highlighted in this chapter, he was marked as “different”. By fourth grade, he often had "melt-downs" with the slightest interruption in routine. An assembly, a fire drill, and even “fun” events set in motion behaviors that gave subtle warnings that a melt-down was approaching. A melt-down would often escalate to the point where he had to be removed from the classroom or even sent home from school.
Removal for the classroom and school environment led to a feeling of social isolation, missed learning opportunities, and a spiral of negative interactions with adults that influenced the way his peers felt about him and decreased his trust in the adults he worked with.
He wondered why he wasn’t like the other kids in the class. He did not want to behave in a way that left him frustrated and emotionally exhausted every day. He desperately wanted somebody to help him put his best foot forward. Eventually, the struggles at school led to depression and a feeling of low self-worth.
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I share this personal story in hopes that teachers will try to look beyond the behaviors. I don’t want to minimize the struggle of working with students that exhibit challenging behaviors. I have worked with my fair share of behaviors that are challenging, frustrating, and behaviors that sometimes leave you wondering if you have chosen the right profession. Teaching isn’t easy. Although it is a difficult charge, it is up to us to support our students with putting their best foot forward each and every day.
What my son needed was exactly what Johnston, Champeau and the rest of the authors wrote about in this chapter. Students who require extra support with behavioral development need:
The ability to notice the desired behaviors displayed by other students.
Explicit teaching and modeling of the desired behaviors in order to know what it looks like and sounds like.
Specific strategies taught and modeled for how to deal with frustration and anger.
Intentional teaching of conversational moves for the whole class.
Intentional teaching of perspective taking for the whole class.
Teachers who don't make assumptions about why a student is not participating or not behaving in a desired way.
Students will follow suit with how the teacher reacts to the student’s behavior.
Teachers who minimize the power difference between the teacher and the student.
Teachers who don't judge a student but try to figure out why a student is really acting the way that they are.
Teachers who stress autonomy and choice.
Teachers who invite rather than demand compliance.
Teachers who make all students feel as if they belong as part of the group.
Teachers who stress that all students and the teacher respect each other reciprocally.
The authors of Engaging Literate Minds write that "the students we find most difficult to teach are our best teachers" (p. 179). When we take the opportunity to learn from them, we don’t let our judgements and assumptions hinder their social-emotional growth. When we look beyond the behavior and discover why children are behaving in a particular way, we can then intentionally address their needs. When students’ needs are met, and they are able to be fully engaged, we can “reflect back to them positive narratives about competence, autonomy, and agency as we help them reflect on their strategic decision making" (p .198).
This post is part of our 2020 Summer Book Study. Find all previous posts and more information here. Also, we will discuss Engaging Literate Minds today at 4:30 P.M. CST at the newsletter. Sign up below – it’s free! (Also, we will be hosting a Zoom chat on the last Wednesday, July 15 at the same time. Sign up for the chat during next Wednesday’s discussion.)