Reshaping My World: A Journey of Recovery, Values, and Change

Including an update on this newsletter going forward

One year ago to the day, I suffered a small stroke.

It was located at the posterior right frontal lobe of my brain. This area of the brain controls movement and language. It impacted my speech and some coordination on the left side of my body, particularly my hand and, to a lesser degree, my leg.

Four months after my stroke, my speech was around 95% recovered. The /k/ sound was still difficult to pronounce, so I avoided words that contain it during regular communications. But I also practiced that sound when I have the opportunity.

Today, I am probably in better physical shape than I was one year ago. I have a regular exercise routine, my diet has improved, and I’ve reduced some stressors in my life.

Of the three big changes I mentioned, the reduction in stressors has been the most challenging. It has not been easy to simple say “no” to the various responsibilities in my life. It’s not like replacing a cheeseburger with a salmon salad for dinner. I had sunk costs and prior commitments to many initiatives I deemed important.

One of the biggest changes was moving last summer from the principalship to a role as a systems coach at an educational service agency. Initially there was some immediate relief from not having to worry about managing an entire school. No more indoor recess!

But that didn’t mean my habits around work changed. Slowly yet noticeably, I have accumulated new commitments in my new role. You do good work, and more work finds it way to you. I feel obligated to say “yes” because I can do it. But should I?

What has been helpful in being more discerning about what to take on is to understand my values. Knowing my values has helped me answer the question: “How do I want to live my life and stay true to myself?”

Currently, here are my top three values (Source: Merriam-Webster):

• Integrity: the state of being whole and undivided

• Justice: the principle or ideal of just dealing or right action

• Mindfulness: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis

Having these values clear in my mind, I can apply them like a filter when making decisions about how I want to spend my time.

Which leads into another major change: turning off paid subscriptions for this newsletter.

Ever since I learned about Substack’s lack of commitment to rejecting individuals who use this platform to incite or cause harm toward groups of individuals based on race, ethnicity, or beliefs, I had contemplated some type of move. Turning off paid subscriptions means our dollars are no longer going toward supporting this platform. (For more background on this topic, you can begin here.)

This choice became clear when I considered it through the lens of my values. The cost of having to reduce some tools to support this space is worth the trade off of maintaining a sense of integrity in my work.

I still plan on writing in this space, albeit shorter and less frequently. For paid subscribers, I will continue to keep professional conversations via Zoom exclusive to you, until I determine a better community platform.

Thanks for understanding. I appreciate your commitment to this space.

Take care,

Matt

Recommended Reading

• I wrote more about my stroke and recovery in this Choice Literacy article. It offers specific strategies for improving speaking skills, learned during my speech therapy last year.

• There are a variety of options out there for engaging in your own assessment of your current values, for example Elena Aguilar’s website for her book The Art of Coaching.

• Reflecting on my one year “stroke-a-versary”, A Gentleman in Moscow came up for me. Amor Towles’s historical fiction account of isolation and loss of one individual reminded me of how new constraints can be freeing. They can create the conditions for letting go of what previously held us back, and to appreciate what we already have.